Saying Goodbye...

I can remember 8 years ago when I begged Billy for another dog. We had already gotten Rufus, our "mini" dachsund and he had just turned 2. I thought it would be better for him to have another friend to play with, so Billy allowed me to choose what kind of dog I would like. It just so happened that a friend had several shitzhu puppies and Billy went to pick me one out.
I remember the day they brought him to our house and how scared he was of everything...just a little furball and only 6 weeks old - we named him Corky. From that day he was by my side. He was extremely playful and loved running around with Rufus. They became close and pretty much inseparable. When I would take Corky to the vet or groomer, Rufus would pace the house nervously until Corky came back home. Then all was well with the world again.

Several years ago Corky developed an eye condition and had to be constantly medicated and even had surgery to correct the issue. Unfortunately it did not work and condition slowly returned. Over the past few months new medications were given with hope that he would show some signs of improvement...but they did not work either. I was given a choice of a very painful existence for Corky for the remainder of his life or to let him go in peace.

I had for so long selfishly thought that I could manage with Corky and he would be okay with medications....I was never told what pain was actually involved and how that would worsen. After fighting myself over this decision for a week and losing sleep as well as crying frequently I had decided that I had to do what was best for him and let him go.

Normally when Corky has to go anywhere in the car he gets extremely nervous and whines...today he didn't do that. He simply laid beside me in the car and was calm. I sang to him all the way to our destination and when we got there he jumped up in my arms. When we got inside he laid his head on my shoulder (I always carried him like a child) and I said goodbye.

Corky was Brice's favorite of all our dogs and he hugged, kissed and told Corky "I love you so much" this morning before we left the house. Brice didn't know what was coming.

Tonight I had to explain to Brice why Corky wasn't here and being so young he doesn't understand. He thinks Corky will be home tomorrow. However, I put a framed photo of Corky on one of our tables in the living room and Brice has kept it with him all evening. Something has clicked...

I used to have little furry white feet following me everywhere and not resting until I did...I'm gonna miss that :*(